Craig...the love of my life...the man I thought I would spend the rest of my days on earth with...the one I waited 38 years for...dies much too soon. I wish I could tell everyone what happened...but even I still don't know. I mean, I know the ABC's of what happened:

He was seen in the ER on Thursday...discharged home Thursday afternoon...and in full arrest by 4am on Friday morning.

We now must wait for the autopsy report, which will take anywhere from 2-6 months.

In the meantime I sit and replay Thursday Feb. 12 over and over in my mind. What was it that I didn't notice? why didn't I take him back to the ER? Why was he released in the first place? What should I have done different?

And then we start with the selfish questions:

How could you leave me? Why did you leave me? Is there something I could have done differently? Are you mad at me for not saving you? All the typical "grief" questions one tends to ask themselves when something so unexpectedly happens. But questions, none-the-less, that I will probably never know get answers to. Well, at least not until I reach the other side.

As soon as I know...I will let everyone else know. Until then, just know that he should not have passed away...and I will not rest until the answers are clear!