A Letter From Norman

Cleaning out my emails the other
day, I started going through one of my folders labeled “Norman”. There were emails that had been sent back and
forth between the two of us before we had gotten married. In one of those emails I found a beautiful
letter that he had written to me during one of our “hard times”…when I kept
trying to push him away, yet knowing I was caught in the middle of living in
the past or moving forward with my life.

Below is that letter.

What a considerate, patient,
loving man I married. Craig would be
pleased to know that I am being taken care of…that Norman honors and respects
the life I had with him…and that I’m no longer alone

I SIT HERE REFLECTING ON THE DISCUSSION WE HAVE HAD, YES MULTIPLE
TIMES. WHAT IS IT I SEE IN YOU – WHAT KEEPS YOU HOLDING ON? YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT YOU WITH MY EYES. I MET A
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN CONFIDANT, CHEERFUL, OUTGOING, FUN, AND AN ABSOLUTE JOY TO BE
WITH AND AROUND. I CONSIDERED MYSELF TO BE VERY LUCKY TO HAVE MET SUCH A WOMAN.
I, LATER ON IN THE
RELATIONSHIP, SAW A WOMAN HURTING DEEPLY AND KEEPING IT IN, PROJECTING AN
OUTWARD APPEARANCE OF BEING TOUGH AS NAILS, OBLIVIOUS TO PAIN, TOTALLY IN
CONTROL OF HER EMOTIONS. I SAW A WOMAN, DURING THE ROUGHEST TIME OF HER LIFE. CAUGHT
BETWEEN TWO WORLDS: ONE IN WHICH I SAW A WOMAN MOVING ON WITH HER LIFE –
LOOKING FOR MISTER RIGHT, WHOM I HOPED WOULD BE ME, BUT I ALSO LEARNED ANOTHER
SIDE OF THIS WOMAN. I SAW A WOMAN DEEP
IN PAIN, PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONALLY IN DISTRESS. I WAS THERE BUT NOT THERE - I
COULDN’T TAKE THE PAIN AND ANGUISH AWAY. I SAW THE WOMAN I LOVED DEEPLY HURTING
BUT I COULDN’T INTERFERE. I WASN’T ABLE
TO PUT MY ARMS AROUND HER OR MAKE THINGS RIGHT FOR HER; SHE WAS DEALING WITH
DEATH OF HER HUSBAND. THE PAIN OF WHICH I CAN ONLY BEGIN TO IMAGINE. I SAW A
WOMAN REACHING FOR MY HELP, BUT I MISINTERPRETED THE SIGNS / SIGNALS. I DIDN’T
UNDERSTAND AND MADE HORRENDOUS MISTAKES AND SIMPLY ADDED TO HER ANGUISH. I SAW A WOMAN I’M IN LOVE WITH SLOWLY
INCREMENTALLY MOVING AWAY FROM ME, TIES AND BONDS LOOSENING AND THEN FAILING.
SO WHAT KEEPS A MAN COMING BACK OR TRYING TO HOLD ON……THE DEEPEST LOVE OF A
WOMAN NAMED NANCY. A LOVE WHICH IS UNWAVERING, LIMITLESS AND LIFE LONG…..THIS
IS HOW I SEE YOU AND WHAT KEEPS ME HOLDING ON…EVEN BY A THREAD.
LOVE YOU
NORM