Birthdays...

Tomorrow is my 48th birthday...and Mother's Day.

Today...my daughter is throwing me a birthday party. :-)
I have never seen someone as excited as she is about a birthday party...well, except for the very first birthday of Craig's that we shared.

Jan 7, 2003. While Craig worked all day, I spent the day decorating the house with balloons, streamers, confetti, and Happy Birthday banners...made him a birthday cake AND bought him one also...planned an elaborated dinner at home (with me, Jonathan and Ashley)...and surprised the living crap out of him when he got home from work! I had never seen a grown man cry over someone caring enough about him to go to the trouble of throwing him a party, so needless to say, I was stunned when Craig welled up with tears. He had told me that his first wife never took the time of day...or went out of her way for him. No...not even for his birthday! He always felt that the only reason she ever married him was to get out of mom and dad's house...and that he never felt like a husband...never felt desired by her...never felt like a man "should" feel with his wife. That's probably just one of the reasons he had such hatred for her. I can't begin to describe the disdain Craig had for Dana. That's why it broke my heart to know that Craig's brother decided to call her recently. If he only knew how displeased Craig would be to know that...instead of picking up a phone and calling me to find out what information he wanted (instead he took cheap shots at me on facebook)...he called the one women on the face of this earth that Craig hated with a passion. I, first-handedly know that she has no concept of what "truth" is...even to the point of posting that I was the reason Craig had left her. That was the first lie I had to deal with. The fact is I never met Craig until AFTER he had moved to NC and had been living here for almost a month! The last lie, that I care to deal with, was her posting about what a wonderful person she was...and despite the fact that I am the reason for her and Craig's divorce...she sent flowers to the funeral home. Really?! Why the need to lie about the real reason they divorced AND the fact that she NEVER sent flowers. And Craig's brother knew all of this...and still it was Dana he chose to turn to instead of the woman whe loved Craig with every fiber of her being! But I guess that's not my burden to carry, is it? :-( How sad.

But alas...I will hold Craig close to my heart...be forever thankful that I was fortunate enough to meet someone who allows me to openly feel what I feel for Craig...and not have any insecurities in the life we are building with each other. I KNEW Craig would bring someone to me that would be able to handle all that I am going through...I KNOW Craig wants me to live...just like I KNOW Craig is watching over me...and he makes one hell of a guardian angel (along with my mom!).

And tonight...I will celebrate my birthday with all those that love me...whether they are here in person...or in spirit!