Sarge (aka Norman)...

I write so much about Craig (which is my therapeutic outlet in helping deal with my grief), that it's time to veer off my normal path and write about Sarge. And what better place to start than at how we met.

Once upon a time...(lmao...my attempt at humor)

Home after a mentally exhausting day at work...sitting in the comfort and security of my living room...my standard one bubba burger (no bun, no vegetables...just the bubba burger because it was too much work to worry with anything else)...Morgan laying on the love seat beside me and Cesar laying on the opposite arm rest...feeling very sad and lonely, i decided to go online and look around. Just looking for a kind soul to talk to...Sarge appeared and started chatting. He was every bit a gentleman and we began to share life stories. How nice it was to feel like someone cared about the "woman" Nancy (I had lots of friends at work, but come 5pm they had their own families to go home to...and those that were friends outside of work, well, they were all married, too. I, personally, can only go along for so long feeling like a third wheel. And, of course, I had family...but again, they had spouses, jobs and lives of their own to live...and, God knows, I didn't want to become, or feel like I had become, a burden to anyone!!) We chatted for a day or two...and I realized I just could't do it. I felt like I was cheating on Craig...and it just felt so completely wrong!

Fast forward 6 months. I have moved from the huge home Craig and I shared, and have moved into a cute 2 bedroom apartment. I have to be honest, I don't know if I had even thought anymore about Sarge. I just know that one evening i am on line...he pops up...and he tells me how he had missed seeing me on line, chatting with me and wondered where I had gone to.

We talked for a few weeks and quickly became friends. I was stunned to find out he was living in Mars Hill, NC. I had spent 17 years living in that area when I was married to my first husband...and my adult son still lived there! Most importantly, he made me laugh! It had been so long since i had true laughter in my life, that to be around someone who could bring that back out in me was incredible! We then decided to meet face to face.

It was a Saturday and I already had plans to meet up with some friends in Darlington SC (my friends' husband was the lead singer of the band Cold Shot)...go to the club the band was performing at...spend the night and come home on Sunday. But before heading to Darlington, I made a side trip to Mars Hill. Ok...so it was massively out of my way, but I wanted to also visit with my son therefore I could combine the two visits and then head on to Darlington.

I met with my son that morning, having him hang around in the background when I went to meet Sarge in a public place for the very first time. After spending a little bit of time with Sarge and feeling very comfortable in the fact that I was safe, we gave Jonathan all of his contact details and Jonathan left. Sarge and I sat and talked for 8 solid hours. We laughed. We cried...me over Craig and him over his brother who was KIA in Iraq. We shared our childhood memories. We shared our hopes and dreams of the future...and then, with a sweet kiss, we parted ways.

With conflicting emotions...I began my drive to Darlington. Happy to be having a night out with my friends, yet conflicted over the pleasure and guilt I felt in physically meeting Sarge.

And that, my friends, is where our journey began....



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Location:Sitting at my dining room table